Our Story
Once upon a time, there was a crypto exchange called FTX. It was the third-largest in the world, valued at $32 billion, and sponsored everything from the Miami Heat arena to every podcast you've ever listened to. Life was good.
Then, in November 2022, things went... sideways. Very, very sideways. Like, "customer funds mixed with company funds and also the CEO's personal account" sideways. Like, "playing League of Legends during investor calls" sideways. Like, "living in a $40M Bahamas penthouse with 10 roommates" sideways.
We're not going to sugarcoat it: FTX 1.0 was a spectacular disaster. It was the Fyre Festival of crypto. The Titanic of exchanges. The "hold my beer" of financial fraud.
But just like a phoenix rising from the ashes (or a cockroach surviving a nuclear blast — pick your metaphor), FTX 2.0 emerged in 2026 under completely new management. New team. New code. New compliance department. Same audacity to use the name "FTX." Some things never change.
Our Timeline
FTX launches. Everyone thinks it's great. Narrator: It was not great.
$32B valuation. Stadium naming rights. Super Bowl ads with celebrities. What could go wrong?
CoinDesk publishes the Alameda balance sheet. Binance triggers a bank run. $6B withdrawn in 72 hours. SBF tweets "assets are fine." Assets were not fine.
SBF arrested in the Bahamas. Charged with wire fraud, money laundering, and violations of campaign finance laws. His parents hire a lawyer. Then another lawyer. Then a lot of lawyers.
Trial, conviction, sentencing. Creditors get partial repayments. The crypto community collectively says "I told you so" (they did not, in fact, tell anyone so).
Someone says "What if we brought FTX back, but good this time?" Everyone laughs. Then someone writes a business plan. Then investors call. Then things get weird.
Against all odds (and common sense), FTX 2.0 is born. New team. New code. Real auditors. Actual compliance. And this time, the CEO doesn't play League of Legends. He plays Dota 2 instead. (We're working on it.)
Leadership Team
Chad McHonesty
CEO & Chief Apologist
Previously: Goldman Sachs, SEC Enforcement Division. Left because "they weren't chaotic enough." Has never committed fraud. We checked.
Dr. Sarah Blockchain
CTO
PhD in Computer Science from MIT. Built trading systems at Jane Street. Her code has never been involved in a bankruptcy. A refreshing change.
Karen Numbers
CFO
20 years at Deloitte. When she found out FTX 1.0 used QuickBooks for a $32B company, she cried for three days. Now she's here to fix things. With Excel.
Robert Compliance III
Chief Compliance Officer
Literally named after compliance (his parents were regulators). Carries a spray bottle to squirt anyone who suggests "creative accounting." Very effective.
Alex "Paranoid" Chen
Chief Security Officer
Former NSA. Sleeps with a hardware wallet under his pillow. Has nightmares about hot wallet exploits. Nobody is allowed to use "password123" on his watch.
Jennifer Damage-Control
Head of PR
Previously managed PR for BP (after the oil spill), Boeing (after the 737 Max), and Facebook (after... everything). She says FTX is "by far her biggest challenge."
Our Core Values
Transparency
We're so transparent, we even tell you our weaknesses. Like how we're terrible at naming things. "FTX 2.0"? Really?
Security
Your funds are stored with more protection than Fort Knox. Mostly because Fort Knox doesn't have to deal with Twitter FUD.
Integrity
We do what we say and say what we do. Which is a surprisingly radical concept in the crypto industry.
Humility
We know where we came from. Every conference room has a framed screenshot of the FTX bankruptcy filing. For motivation.
Global Offices
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New YorkHQ — The "We're Legit Now" Office
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BahamasOperations — Yes, still there. The rent is paid through 2030.
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SingaporeAPAC HQ — They actually enforce regulations here
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LondonEU Office — Tea, crumpets, and KYC/AML compliance